Ang Kakabagong Diksyunaryong Pilipino: Metal Detektor

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Feeling Lazy Is Not An Option

It’s not that someone’s really incapacitated, nor lacks the proper talent to do the things that he wants to do.

Oftentimes, he’s just too lazy to do it.

– Angmamangenhinyero

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Praise Aleluya!

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“Jeez! What’s that word again?!” Photo from dreastime.com

A man is receiving instructions on how to navigate with his peculiar newly-bought horse.

“When you want it to move, say ‘Praise Aleluya!’ And to stop, say ‘Aamen’ got that?”

“Roger that,” said the man and shouted “praise aleluya” and got his horse galloping in no time.

“Aamen, Aamen,” the man said testing the “breaks” pulling the horse to a complete stop.

“Cool!” he muttered to himself.

And so the man, to his joy, traversed through the meadows with his horse lost in his thoughts about his good fortune, when he realized that he’s heading right straight to a 200-foot cliff.

Panic-stricken, the man desperately tried to remember the word for stop when suddenly he managed to shout “Aamen!” just in time for the horse to stop in it’s next step into the jagged rocks below.

“Whew!” cried the man in relief while holding high his right fist. “I know I count on You.

And I can never thank you enough Lord. PRAISE ALELUYA!!!”

Classified Ads

…Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves…

Seen in an entry in the classified ads section of a local broad sheet:

Looking for work? Be jobless no more!

Come and Join Any of the MAUTE GROUP OF COMPANIES:

  • Abu Sayyaf Group Inc. (Terrorism at Its Best!)
  • BIFF Holdings Inc. (Atrocity? Terrorism? ♪We Got Them All for You♫)
  • CPP-NPA-NDF and Partners (Guaranteed to Make War When There’s Peace)
  • MNLF Banking Corp. (Financing Your Way to Worldwide Terror)
  • MILF Inc. (The Maker of Quality Bombs)

A Proud Member of the ISIS International, Jemaah Islamiyah Global, and Al Qaeda World and funded by first world countries.

Benefits Include:

  1. Lifetime permanent employment status (♪you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave)
  2. Embedded wellness package: Lifetime hike in the woods
  3. Good compensation with monthly supply of ammos
  4. Instant worldwide fame: in the terrorist galleries of the Interpol, FBI, and NBI
  5. Gives worth to its employees with bounties reaching up to millions of dollars depending on the number of years’ experience
  6. Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves

Other benefits:

  • Physical training by world class trainers fresh from Syria, Malaysia, and Indonesia
  • Free course in Extremism 1 to Extremism 5
  • Free technical/vocational course in bomb making. No laboratory fees!

For inquiries, contact the following:

Isnilon “Toto, Toni” Totoni Hapilon or the Maute Big Brothers

Address: Sometimes Here St., Brgy. Sometimes There, Oftentimes Nowhere Province, Mindanao, Philippines

And/or

JOMA “Gwaping” SISON

Address: The Netherlands

Mistaken Identity 3

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“I’d like you to meet my uncle Paquin. Paquin Sheet.”

photo from shutterstock.com

Hedonism: Why Always Trying To Feel Good Isn’t Always Good For You

Master it before it makes you its slave.

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Photo from tripadvisor. com

When we feel good, the body releases feel-good hormones such as serotonin, endorphins and dopamine which tend to be addictive. But anything in excess including predictability and hedonism is evil.

I’m not saying though that one should deliberately choose pain or that I glorify and promote suffering. Hell no.

Nothing is wrong in dipping your fingers to hedonism nor taking occasional plunges. It is when you live by it in the illusion that it will sustain and see you through everything in life – that causes all the problem.

Pleasure can be a backbiter like a good drink: only a few shot is sufficient to hook you until you can’t stop. First you took the drink. It was delicious and delectable and then you have some more, and more and more until the drink took you.

By then it is still delicious albeit something feels wrong. But still delicious anyway and so you can’t get out and the cycle goes on and on.

Once you get clawed, it takes a brutally honest self assessment to identify yourself as an unwitting victim of hedonism and you would need tremendous efforts to get yourself off of your own circle when your pleasure seeking spree already mastered you.

Master it before it makes you its slave.

Again as I have said before, true happiness is neither perpetual euphoria nor having no bad days. Happiness is a neutral state where YOU are in control and not your hedonistic urges.

Beast Mode By Default

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…” Ecclesiastes 9:10 NIV

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When the above verse was written thousands of years ago, it was not meant to be an adverb of manner attached on evil deeds.

If we’re going to do something, anything worthwhile, the Bible instructs us to do it, not sparingly, half-heartedly, absent-mindedly, or half-assed.

The mandate is clear: DO IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!

Translating it to modern times, this just means being

“Beast Mode by Default”

I exhort everyone to live by this.

Demos, Chronos, Theos

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Minus the self, success on almost everything in this life depends on the unanimous agreement of these trio (enumerated below including the reflection on my blogging):

  1. Demos (Greek word for people) – I may have the best ideas on my blog but if I don’t resonate with the people I’m writing to, I’m just going to be a “certain blogger out there in the blogosphere” – completely forgotten and unknown.
  2. Chronos (Greek word for time) – I might resonate with the people but if it’s not the right time, my writing would be oblivious and just a random blabber.
  3. Theos (Greek word for God) – I might have the best timing and the right audience but if God gives it a thumbs down, then I’ll just be the random dude with a random blog and nothing more.

And by the looks of it, in terms of blog traffic, I might just be that random blog you are currently reading. But ‘till then, I’ll just keep on writing.

ありがとうございます.

Batas Militar

Ano na Pinas, tang-ina hanggang ganito nalang ba tayo?!

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Marahil ay di pa nga natin nararating na mga Pilipino ang antas ng maturity upang magkaisa sa mga pagkakataong nasa kalagitnaan tayo ng digmaan kontra terorismo tulad ng nangyayari ngayon.

Nakakalungkot isipin na imbes na bitiwan muna natin ang pagkakaiba-iba alang-alang sa mga kababayan natin na nasa bingit ng panganib ay marami parin ang di maisantabi ang pansariling mga interes.

Putang ina. Walang pagsidlan ang galit ko. Di nako nagtataka kung bakit andaming ayaw nang maging Pilipino.

Napakaraming faction, napakaraming marurunong, ganid, talangka, baboy, at ahas na ayaw magpakatao at ayaw maging tao. Tulad nalang ng nakikinikinita kong marami ang pagsasamantalahan ang mga nangyayari tulad ng mga MILF, MNLF, NPA, private armed groups, mga pulitikong bwaya, at iba pang mga traydor at salot sa lipunan.

Awang-awa lang ako sa mga kapatid nating sundalo at pulis na sumasalag sa mga kaguluhan. Sila na nga ang nasa bingit ng kamatayan, sila pa ang madalas maturingang masama.

Putang ina talaga.

Buti pa ang America. Matapos ang 911 ay nagluksa sila bilang isang bansa at pagkatapos ay isang bansa ring naghanap ng katarungan. Kung may puntos lang sana ang unity ay naka 100 points sila. E tayo, tang-ina bokya!

Ano na Pinas, tang-ina hanggang ganito nalang ba tayo?!

Malikmata 4

Kung sa akala mo pinapapunta ka na sa Vegas…

(Just when you thought you were asked to go to Vegas…)

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