Conspiracy Theory

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Photo from pinterest.com

Unless you’re a child or you are honing your craft then predictability is a necessity. Otherwise, being predictable has its own evil.

And this includes a predictable thought process.

I for one am a slave to this. And so this challenge of thinking the unthinkable get’s me out of my own created circle once in a while like a restart button to an unresponsive pc. Just like in the following conspiracy theories:

  1. The war in Mindanao, specifically in Marawi City is a way of the political enemies of President Duterte to get him dethroned – with the hand of US in the background.
  2. Or, can be a way of the president and his cronies to get something out of it, like the liberation of the whole Mindanao in exchange of something. Feel free to fill in the blanks.
  3. There is already a cure for cancer and all terminal diseases but they chose not to reveal it because of commercialism.
  4. Why can’t the Arab countries unite when they all basically have the same faith that forged an empire still as powerful as today? Some say that CIA is wreaking havoc to the existing foreign relations in the Middle East.
  5. Why is Africa left out in terms of development? Some say that Europeans are at work here because Africa also has a lot of oil reserves that can dictate the world market, much like the Middle East.
  6. The collapse of the Twin Towers on 9/11. As an engineer, I believe that the building being pulverized while crashing down is not the “correct” behavior. Only controlled demolition employing explosives can do that.

The list goes on and of course you can start adding to this from rationalizing that the behavior of your pesky neighbor is linked to the ISIS, to the belief that the Illuminati is leading the world to a who-knows-where destination.

But remember, this is meant only for mental calisthenics and not for anyone to be a self-made cynic. Believing that something good will come out of people and situations are still the best way forward.

And the strange thing is, when you think of it that way, the universe seems to conspire to make it happen THAT way.

Now that’s a conspiracy theory that rocks.

“I’ll Be Better Off Without You “

boy on a school bus
Photo from gettyimages.com

It was my son’s first day in grade school when I took a day off from work and accompanied him to show my support.

I had been a witness on that one day of his struggle to adjust to his new schedule – from waking up early to throwing up inside the school service due to motion sickness.

I felt pity for him. I even told myself that if and only if I can give him, in one single shot, all the things I learned in life up to this very moment, I would’ve done it right away.

After a couple of days though, he seemed to have fairly adjusted to his routine. He is tired but I see that he’s happy. And one early morning when we’re both dressed, me for work and he to school, he told me something that got me thinking:

“Dad, please don’t accompany me to school anymore.”

I was stunned thinking that he’s saying that he’ll be better off without me though I know that he didn’t mean to shut me off entirely. I am happy that he realizes the value of experiential learning at a very tender age. Atta boy!

It’s still kinda sad to hear though. But it’s that kind of sadness that I have to live with and be happy about anyway.

Backride

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My kind of girl. Photo from hdopenroad.com

Adda kam nga sangapamilya iti ruar ti balay mi iti maysa nga malem idi limmabas ni kuya Dan, kaarruba mi, nga naka-motor. Iti likudan na ket kalubbun na ni baket na nga ni ate Bel nga adda nga tarin-backless ti badu na ta dandani makita amin a duri nan.

Nalukmeg diay baket, ket inturtured ku nga haan nga makapugsu ti katawak diay pannakakitak diay bukut na.

“Puunay diay badun ate Bel-en,” kunak ken baket nga adda met nga sikikita. “Bale adda kimmut diay bukut na!”

Kasla kam la madupuy nga nagkatkatawa ti naimas ken awan uni na a katawa

To the Lovely Lady With Lovely Dimples

dimples
“Ok lang kahit anghirap sabihin at isulat ang pangalan mo Shin Min Ah. Cute ka naman tapos bonus pa yung dimples mo. Pakiss nga ako…” ang larawan ay mula sa imgarcade.com

Habang nasa van ako isang gabi, puyat, pagod at antok na antok ay pinanood kong muli si Vela Blue sa aking cellphone habang hinahataw nya ang drums.

She never fails to put a smile on my face.

Bakit kaya palagi nalang?

Bukod sa ansarap nyang yakapin habang nage-enjoy siya ay dahil ito sa kanyang dimples.

Di ko alam bakit gandang-ganda ako sa mga ladies na may dimples. Siguro ay dahil ang una kong gf ay may biloy. A basta. Nakakapagpalabas talaga siya ng ngiti. Yung tipong:

“mahal, huwag kang ngingiti at baka di nako balikan ng hininga ko…”

Bawat magagandang binibining may biloy, para sa akin ay isang prinsesa na kay sarap alayan ng mga kaloob upang ako’y mabiyayaan ng kanyang matatamis na ngiti habang ang kanyang mga dimples ay pinaglalaruan ang aking damdamin at kamalayan.

Mula noon ay di na ako nagkaroon ng leading lady na may dimples. Mukhang nakuntento nalang ako na matuwa sa mga binibini na may mala-langit na mga ngiti na pinatatamis ng kanyang mga dimples.

Marahil ay sa kadahilanang ang biloy at ang puso ko’y parehas ng hitsura. Yung puso ko nga lang e may bakas ng mga palaso ni Kupido na nag-iwan ng malalim na latay.

Sige na, sige na keso na kung keso. E yung keso nga andami ding dimples e…

B.S. Practical Engineering

Ako ang inhinyero sa bahay pero minsan e mas malupit si misis kesa sakin pagdating sa practical engineering.

Dahil summer ay bumili kami ng inflatable pool para sa mga chikiting. May isa’t kalahating metro din yung sukat nung pool at may taas na aabot sa kalahating metro . ‘Di sumagi sa isip ko na bumili ng compressor o yung pampahangin dahil inisip kong kaya ko namang bombahan yung pool gamit ang manual pump na pambisikleta.

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Pambata lang yung kinuha namin… Mula ang larawan sa cn-airmattress.com

Nang makauwi kami ay sinubukan kong bombahan yung inflatable pool.

Syete.

Mauubusan nako ng hangin sa baga at matotodas kakabomba ay siguradong di pa ako mangangalahati.

“Punta nalang tayo sa vulcanizing shop bukas ng maaga,” kako kay kumander.

Sa loob-loob ko ay di ako sang-ayon sa sinabi ko dahil napaka-hassle bitbitin yung pool na halos singtangkad ko kapag nakatagilid lalo na kung sasabayan pa ako ng walang kurapang mga titig ng mga naglalakihang mga mata ng aking mga minamahal na kapitbahay.

“Pero sana may mahihiraman nalang ng compressor kahit yung maliit lang,” kako ulit.

“Pwede siguro yung nebulizer” sabi ni boss.

Nagka lightbulb. Yun nga lang, di ako yung nagbukas ng ilaw.

“Oo nga ano!” nasabi ko nalang na may halong inis sa sarili ko. Ang simple lang dapat nun pero bakit di ko kaagad naisip yun?!

At ganun na nga ang nangyari. Naglalabas nga naman ng hangin yung nebulizer kaya nagamit namin ito para ma-inflate yung pool.

Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa nebulizer na yon dahil buhay parin ako hanggang ngayon at nagkukwento tungkol sa practical sense ni boss at sa nadiskubre naming di lang para sa taong may hika ang nebulizer.

Oo na, sige na nga. Sa pagkakataong iyon ay panalo si kumander samantalang bumagsak naman ang Bataan. Pero di bale na, ayos lang. Mas mabuti na yung inflatable pool ang gumamit ng nebulizer at hindi yung aking mga mini me na tulad kong pogi.

In Denial

And when you do hear that I’m still in love with you, it’s not me. It’s the tequila, the Red Horse Beer, any spirit or anything under the sun for that matter. But whoever or whatever it is, it’s not me.

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From fanpop.com

Who me? Still in love with you?! Oh come on honey you know better than that! I loved you back then but that was before. It was over the moment you told me that we’re done.

And no, I’m not missing you.

You were a princess with a smiling face and a katana on hand who carved a big ugly scar in my heart. You left it dilapidated but that’s ok, I can live with that.

Please don’t assume you’re seeing tears. If you see my bloodshot eyes, it’s because I haven’t had enough sleep last night because I watched hell lot of movies that I missed when we’re together. Or, I’ve been out with the guys on a party I chose to turn down because I chose you. No I’m not blaming you for that decision I made. It’s me and I made that choice.

And don’t ever expect to see tears in my eyes if it’s raining hard ok? You’ll more likely see cats and dogs, even in the drizzle. But tears? No way sir.

And when you do hear that I’m still in love with you, it’s not me. It’s the tequila, the Red Horse Beer, any spirit or anything under the sun for that matter. But whoever or whatever it is, it’s not me.

By the way, this song’s for you so that you’ll know. I hope it’s now clear baby. No I’m not the one who said I love you just now. It’s that damn spirit ok?!

When Something “Green” Gives A Healthy, Hearty Laughin’

And, of all people you can laugh out loud with, isn’t it cool that you’re doing it with your special someone?

I’ve been sitting on this hilarious “green” song in my local dialect that never fails to put a grin on my face irrespective of when or where I am. And due to its green nature and that the terms require a considerable degree of fluency to fully comprehend it in full context, I cannot just share it to anyone and so I was condemned to laugh alone for a while.

One weekend while both me and my wife are doing the laundry, I remembered the song again. But this time, instead of keeping it to myself, I sang that hilarious part of the lyrics out loud followed by a hearty laugh until it brought me to tears.

♪ ♫ Nakamagmaga,
Natikagan sa ♫ ♪

My wife let out a belly laugh followed by a silent one as she hit me twice with her towel while her knees totally lost control as she squatted on the ground.

While our shoulders were still shaking, I felt relieved that I finally found someone to share with the hilarious song and laugh with much gusto.

“Thank you,” I told her in the middle of my chuckles “thank you for laughing out loud with me!”

What I’ve learned in that moment is, given the right timing, a green joke minus the sexual innuendos and overtones expressing repressed urges can give a clean humor that can make you laugh with your significant other. And, of all people you can laugh out loud with, isn’t it cool that you’re doing it with your special someone?

And in our case, a good hearty laugh is always equivalent to a good quality time with each other.

And that, is not a joke my friend 🙂

Ang Huling Bukang Liwayway

Dahan-dahan si Ahmed sa paghakbang. Tangan nya ang AK47 at nakatutok sa madilim na kakahuyan na nakapalibot sa kanya habang pinapakiramdaman ang damuhan sa bawat yapak.

Normal na para sa kanya ang mga ganitong pangyayari. Sanay na sanay siya sa kanyang buhay bundok. Tahimik, maliban sa mga mangilan-ngilan na putok ng baril, pagsabog ng mga 50mm mortar at pangungulit ni Sakudim.

‘Med, pengeng yosi’ anang malakas na tinig sa kanyang likuran.

‘Wag kang magulo. May narinig ako banda dun.’ sagot niya ng pabulong.

‘Wala yun bayawak lang yun. Kung anu-anong naiisip mo bigyan mo na nga lang ako ng yosi’ nang-aasar na lumapit si Sakudim.

‘Tangina mo wag ka ngang ma…’

Nakaramdam ng tilamsik sa mukha si Sakudim at nadamay na natalsikan ang kanyang paningin. Pagkakusot niya sa kanyang mga mata ay tumambad sa kanyang harapan ang nakadapang labi ni Ahmed na may ga-kamaong butas sa pagitan ng kanyang mga tenga.

Agad inabot ni Sakudim ang radyo sa kanyang tagiliran. Ngunit bago pa man niya mailapit ang radyo sa kanyang mukha ay muling umalingawngaw ang isang putok at tuluyan ng nagdilim ang kanyang paningin…

At doon na nagsimulang magliparan ang mga tingga na siyang nagbigay ng patay-sinding liwanag sa masalimoot na gabi…

xxx

‘Gago ka lakay, pinuruhan mo agad di mo man lang hinayaang magdusa muna.’ ani Bogard habang hawak ang night vision binoculars at naghahanap ng susunod na target.

Mahirap kumuha ng ganitong uri ng night vision binoculars na primera klase. Kahit sa mga sundalo at mga pulis. Kung tutuusin ay halos imposible ng bumalik ang kontrol sa mga militar sapagkat karamihan na ng mga isla sa bansa ay nasakop na ng ISIS. Maging ang general head quarters ng hukbong sandatahan at ang Camp Crame sa EDSA sa kabisera ay nasa ilalim na rin ng mga terorista.

Unang napasailalim sa kamay ng ISIS ang Mindanao. Dahil sa naghalong korapsyon sa gobyerno at nakalap na suporta ng mga tao sa mga terorista ay naging madali ang pagmartsa ng grupo mula timog pakanluran. Ngayon nga ay nakarating na sila sa Maynila at isusunod na sasakupin na ang gitna at kanlurang bahagi ng Luzon. Walang nagawa ang mga pulis at militar kasama ang president at kanyang mga gabinete kundi umatras at subukang depensahan ang natitirang bahagi ng Pilipinas sa norte.

Simula nang lumaganap ang saklaw ng ISIS sa mundo na kasalukuyang pinadadapa ang Estados Unidos ay namigay na si Uncle Sam ng mga armas, bala at iba pang mga kagamitan gaya ng mga night vision binoculars upang kahit papaano ay makatulong sa kanyang mga kaalyado na nasa bingit na ngayon ng pagkakasakop. Maswerteng nakakuha si Bogard at si Kardo ng mga gamit kabilang ang night vision binoculars ng magpalista sila bilang mga makabagong guerilla upang sa ganon ay maipagtanggol ang natitirang bahagi ng bansa hanggang sa huling sandali. Di bale ng mamatay, basta mamatay na lumalaban.

‘Ulul! E kung nakatakas pa? Imbes na nabawasan na tayo ng 2 problema e bibigyan mo pa ng tyansa. Pano kung tayo ang todasin nyan?!’ sagot ni Kardo na hindi man lang natinag sa pagkakatutok ng kanang mata sa kanyang sniperscope. Mga gago kayo, lumayas na kayo dito, ani Kardo sa kanyang sarili. Saglit siyang natigilan sa kanyang iniisip ng biglang tumunog ang radyo.

‘Request for cover fire. Pinapaulanan kami dito sa tango area.’

‘Mamaya na ang yosi lakay, magtrabaho muna tayo’ nabasa ni Bogard ang iniisip ni Kardo. Saglit na hinagilap ni Bogard ang lugar kung saan nagpapaulan ng bala ang machine gunner ng mga terorista.

‘750 meters, 10 o’clock. May tumpok ng lupa. Tago yung katawan pero kitang-kita yung ulo’

Agad nakita ni Kardo ang patay-sinding ilaw ng machine gun at kanyang hinagilap kung saan pwedeng taniman ng bala ang pesteng terorista.

‘Bingo. Wag ka ng gumising tang-ina mo ka.’ Pinuno ni Kardo ng hangin ang kanyang mga baga at bahagyang tumigil. Sandali niyang kinapa-kapa ang gatilyo sabay kalabit.

Nanahimik ang paligid at nawala ang patay-sinding ilaw galing sa machine gun.

‘Tatlo’ bilang ni Bogard.

‘Tara, lipat tayo ng ibang pwesto’ sinabi ni Kardo sa kasama sabay buhat sa kanyang sniper rifle.

Itutuloy…

Time Off

“I need to have this time for myself so that I’ll still have something to give my children.”

I never fully understood how important time off is for a full time mother until my wife showed me.

She was longing for a haircut and her hair dyed to somehow hide the evidence of the passing years. She never had the time to visit the parlor though because we don’t have house help. And though I’m more than willing to stay home and tend to the kids while she’s away, she’d be conscience-stricken leaving the kids for a while and she knows also that I’ve already had a lot for the past week that I deserve some rest and so she would just smile and brush off the idea.

But I always see pain in her eyes whenever I see that smile. It stabs my heart inch by inch, the scarcity of words making it more poignant.

Thankfully my mother came over to offer us help. Not a permanent one though but it’d be a temporary sigh of relief especially for my wife. If given the choice however, I’d rather stay at home but she asked me to accompany her and so we both went to the parlor one weekend.

As she was seated in front of the mirror while the pungent-smelling chemicals treat her hair and scalp, I came over to tell her I already miss the kids. Her answer was brief and crisp, sharper than Saint Michael’s double-edged sword shutting me up instantly:

“I need to have this time for myself so that I’ll still have something to give my children.”

Fuck. The onions were too strong.

Kawangis

Akala ko noon ay tuluyan ka ng nawala,
Pero bakit nagbabalik ka ngayon sa katauhan niya?

Sa tuwing siya’y nakikita ko
Kawangis mong bulaklak na masamyo
Sabihin mo, nais kong mapagtanto
Siya at ikaw kaya’y magsingbango?
Iyong mga titig sa kanyang balintataw ay aking tanaw
Pisngi nyong malulusog, sa damdamin ko’y pumupukaw
Tulad mo, mga labi niya’y masarap titigan
Gaya mo rin kaya siyang kaysarap halikan?
Larawan siya ng buong katapangan
Kaloob niya’y masidhing pagmamahalan
At kanyang mga mata, kung tumitig ay maalab na nangungusap

Akala ko noon ay tuluyan ka ng nawala,
Pero bakit nagbabalik ka ngayon sa katauhan niya?