Conspiracy Theory

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Photo from pinterest.com

Unless you’re a child or you are honing your craft then predictability is a necessity. Otherwise, being predictable has its own evil.

And this includes a predictable thought process.

I for one am a slave to this. And so this challenge of thinking the unthinkable get’s me out of my own created circle once in a while like a restart button to an unresponsive pc. Just like in the following conspiracy theories:

  1. The war in Mindanao, specifically in Marawi City is a way of the political enemies of President Duterte to get him dethroned – with the hand of US in the background.
  2. Or, can be a way of the president and his cronies to get something out of it, like the liberation of the whole Mindanao in exchange of something. Feel free to fill in the blanks.
  3. There is already a cure for cancer and all terminal diseases but they chose not to reveal it because of commercialism.
  4. Why can’t the Arab countries unite when they all basically have the same faith that forged an empire still as powerful as today? Some say that CIA is wreaking havoc to the existing foreign relations in the Middle East.
  5. Why is Africa left out in terms of development? Some say that Europeans are at work here because Africa also has a lot of oil reserves that can dictate the world market, much like the Middle East.
  6. The collapse of the Twin Towers on 9/11. As an engineer, I believe that the building being pulverized while crashing down is not the “correct” behavior. Only controlled demolition employing explosives can do that.

The list goes on and of course you can start adding to this from rationalizing that the behavior of your pesky neighbor is linked to the ISIS, to the belief that the Illuminati is leading the world to a who-knows-where destination.

But remember, this is meant only for mental calisthenics and not for anyone to be a self-made cynic. Believing that something good will come out of people and situations are still the best way forward.

And the strange thing is, when you think of it that way, the universe seems to conspire to make it happen THAT way.

Now that’s a conspiracy theory that rocks.

FUCK THE SOULMATE MENTALITY!

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Photo from ebay.co.uk

Love is like a heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle made up of two pieces. And due to the novelty of our experiences, each puzzle piece have intricate, unique patterns that can fit perfectly to only one piece.

But what people fail to realize is that  it’s not just a trial and error fitting spree. It involves the painful process of refining the edges, cutting an edge to accommodate the other piece, and extending some parts to fill the gaps of the other.

The interesting thing is, this gap that we’re trying to fill in order to piece together this puzzle, is dynamic. Such that, the patterns change in our lifetime and thus the process of cutting, welding, and grinding are perennial processes necessary to keep the love puzzle in perfect fit.

Moral of the story? FUCK THE SOULMATE MENTALITY!

Giving while expecting something in return is manipulation in disguise. – Angmamangenhinyero

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Ang Kakabagong Diksyunaryong Pilipino: Metal Detektor

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Feeling Lazy Is Not An Option

It’s not that someone’s really incapacitated, nor lacks the proper talent to do the things that he wants to do.

Oftentimes, he’s just too lazy to do it.

– Angmamangenhinyero

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Praise Aleluya!

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“Jeez! What’s that word again?!” Photo from dreastime.com

A man is receiving instructions on how to navigate with his peculiar newly-bought horse.

“When you want it to move, say ‘Praise Aleluya!’ And to stop, say ‘Aamen’ got that?”

“Roger that,” said the man and shouted “praise aleluya” and got his horse galloping in no time.

“Aamen, Aamen,” the man said testing the “breaks” pulling the horse to a complete stop.

“Cool!” he muttered to himself.

And so the man, to his joy, traversed through the meadows with his horse lost in his thoughts about his good fortune, when he realized that he’s heading right straight to a 200-foot cliff.

Panic-stricken, the man desperately tried to remember the word for stop when suddenly he managed to shout “Aamen!” just in time for the horse to stop in it’s next step into the jagged rocks below.

“Whew!” cried the man in relief while holding high his right fist. “I know I count on You.

And I can never thank you enough Lord. PRAISE ALELUYA!!!”

Classified Ads

…Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves…

Seen in an entry in the classified ads section of a local broad sheet:

Looking for work? Be jobless no more!

Come and Join Any of the MAUTE GROUP OF COMPANIES:

  • Abu Sayyaf Group Inc. (Terrorism at Its Best!)
  • BIFF Holdings Inc. (Atrocity? Terrorism? ♪We Got Them All for You♫)
  • CPP-NPA-NDF and Partners (Guaranteed to Make War When There’s Peace)
  • MNLF Banking Corp. (Financing Your Way to Worldwide Terror)
  • MILF Inc. (The Maker of Quality Bombs)

A Proud Member of the ISIS International, Jemaah Islamiyah Global, and Al Qaeda World and funded by first world countries.

Benefits Include:

  1. Lifetime permanent employment status (♪you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave)
  2. Embedded wellness package: Lifetime hike in the woods
  3. Good compensation with monthly supply of ammos
  4. Instant worldwide fame: in the terrorist galleries of the Interpol, FBI, and NBI
  5. Gives worth to its employees with bounties reaching up to millions of dollars depending on the number of years’ experience
  6. Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves

Other benefits:

  • Physical training by world class trainers fresh from Syria, Malaysia, and Indonesia
  • Free course in Extremism 1 to Extremism 5
  • Free technical/vocational course in bomb making. No laboratory fees!

For inquiries, contact the following:

Isnilon “Toto, Toni” Totoni Hapilon or the Maute Big Brothers

Address: Sometimes Here St., Brgy. Sometimes There, Oftentimes Nowhere Province, Mindanao, Philippines

And/or

JOMA “Gwaping” SISON

Address: The Netherlands

Mistaken Identity 3

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“I’d like you to meet my uncle Paquin. Paquin Sheet.”

photo from shutterstock.com

Hedonism: Why Always Trying To Feel Good Isn’t Always Good For You

Master it before it makes you its slave.

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Photo from tripadvisor. com

When we feel good, the body releases feel-good hormones such as serotonin, endorphins and dopamine which tend to be addictive. But anything in excess including predictability and hedonism is evil.

I’m not saying though that one should deliberately choose pain or that I glorify and promote suffering. Hell no.

Nothing is wrong in dipping your fingers to hedonism nor taking occasional plunges. It is when you live by it in the illusion that it will sustain and see you through everything in life – that causes all the problem.

Pleasure can be a backbiter like a good drink: only a few shot is sufficient to hook you until you can’t stop. First you took the drink. It was delicious and delectable and then you have some more, and more and more until the drink took you.

By then it is still delicious albeit something feels wrong. But still delicious anyway and so you can’t get out and the cycle goes on and on.

Once you get clawed, it takes a brutally honest self assessment to identify yourself as an unwitting victim of hedonism and you would need tremendous efforts to get yourself off of your own circle when your pleasure seeking spree already mastered you.

Master it before it makes you its slave.

Again as I have said before, true happiness is neither perpetual euphoria nor having no bad days. Happiness is a neutral state where YOU are in control and not your hedonistic urges.