Tesbun

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Photo from dreamstime.com

Mahal kumusta ka na?!

Ansakit naman ng biro ng tadhana

Na makitang buntis ka na

Ngunit para sayo ako ay masaya

Pero mas masaya sana

Kung ako ang naging ama

Subalit ngayon ay iinumin ko’ng aking mga luha

Kung sana noo’y di ako naunahan ng kaba

Nung ika’y malaya pa

Malamang tayo ang itinadhana

Pero ngayon ay huli na

At wala na’kong magagawa pa

Kundi ibulong sa sarili ko ang “mahal kita”

At tanungin ka ng “kumusta?”

Batas Militar

Ano na Pinas, tang-ina hanggang ganito nalang ba tayo?!

santabanta

Marahil ay di pa nga natin nararating na mga Pilipino ang antas ng maturity upang magkaisa sa mga pagkakataong nasa kalagitnaan tayo ng digmaan kontra terorismo tulad ng nangyayari ngayon.

Nakakalungkot isipin na imbes na bitiwan muna natin ang pagkakaiba-iba alang-alang sa mga kababayan natin na nasa bingit ng panganib ay marami parin ang di maisantabi ang pansariling mga interes.

Putang ina. Walang pagsidlan ang galit ko. Di nako nagtataka kung bakit andaming ayaw nang maging Pilipino.

Napakaraming faction, napakaraming marurunong, ganid, talangka, baboy, at ahas na ayaw magpakatao at ayaw maging tao. Tulad nalang ng nakikinikinita kong marami ang pagsasamantalahan ang mga nangyayari tulad ng mga MILF, MNLF, NPA, private armed groups, mga pulitikong bwaya, at iba pang mga traydor at salot sa lipunan.

Awang-awa lang ako sa mga kapatid nating sundalo at pulis na sumasalag sa mga kaguluhan. Sila na nga ang nasa bingit ng kamatayan, sila pa ang madalas maturingang masama.

Putang ina talaga.

Buti pa ang America. Matapos ang 911 ay nagluksa sila bilang isang bansa at pagkatapos ay isang bansa ring naghanap ng katarungan. Kung may puntos lang sana ang unity ay naka 100 points sila. E tayo, tang-ina bokya!

Ano na Pinas, tang-ina hanggang ganito nalang ba tayo?!

Blinded – Third Eye Blind

Feeling a bit nostalgic here guys so let me share one of my favorites.

I wish I have the same song writing prowess like that bastard Stephan Jenkins (no offense man, this song struck familiar chords within me. Great song, melody and all just fuckin’ perfect!)

Throw in the fast paced alternative music, lyrics written with the heart and angst, and it would guarantee to destroy your day (borrowing the words of an awesome awesome blogger friend Lenny).

So what else can I say? Nothing much really. So for those who made it too complicated for them and their love ones, and for those wishing for a second chance that’s very unlikely to be granted, this is guaranteed to make you kill yourself wishing for yesterday.

You’re welcome 🙂

Blinded (lyrics taken from metrolyrics.com)

Just an old friend coming over now to visit you and
That’s what I’ve become
I let myself in though I know I’m not supposed to but
I never know when I’m done

And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor round your body glistens in the shower
And I want to stay right here and go down on you for an hour
Or stay, and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication, take the moment of hope
And let it run, and never look back at all the damage we have done now
To each other

Cause when I see you, it’s like I’m staring down the sun
And I’m blinded
There’s nothing left to do
Still I see you

I never believed that things they happen for a reason and
They never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned but
You’re passed where you understand

Now her appetite is blown, little else is known
Except she’s a little angry, grabs a towel and looks away
And the heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say
Oh something clean let me be clever
Hey oh well whatever
But that’s not what I mean
When where we’ve been has left us burned
Still I won’t turn now from a fight you know I’ll never win

So when I see you, you know all the things I’ve done
Well I’m blinded
Like I’m staring down the sun
When I see you
It’s like I’m staring down the sun

Time passes and it tells us what we’re left with
We become the things we do
Me I’m a fool, spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn’t give up on you

Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and it’s not easy being me
But I can’t promise I will mend or bend
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
And I’ve just fallen back to earth
Still you know I’ll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we have stolen manners
In the days we were one

So when I see you, despite all that we’ve become
I’m still blinded
But I’m staring down the sun
When I see you
I’m blinded

Barado

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taken from consumerist.com

Mga sasakyang bumabara sa kalsada: traffic.

Ugat na daluyan ng dugong nabarahan sa dibdib: heart attack.

Bumarang mga salita sa aking lalamunan nang makahanap ako ng magandang pagkakataon na kausapin ka: “maal ia”

Mga nautal kong salita na bumara sa tenga mo sabay tawa mo ng malakas: “alam mo nakakatawa ka talaga, para kang yung boyfriend ko”

Buti nalang bumara ang mga luha ko at di tumulo, kunwaring ngumiti ako at napabulong nalang ng : “uang iya, ang ait!

Baradong pagtatapat ng saloobin sayo at basketball na sinalubong ng mga bukas na palad: SUPALPAL!!!

Ang Pilipino Sa Makabagong Panahon (?)

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Ang larawan ay mula sa philippineslifestyle.com

Maligayang pagdating sa Pilipinas, ang natatanging Katolikong bansa sa timog-silangang Asya!

Dito:

  • ay dapat mag-ingat sa mga mandurukot
  • ay kung saan ang mga magnanakaw sa bayan ay protektado ng “Rule of Law
  • ay dapat mag-ingat sa mga paliparan. Lalo na sa NAIA dahil sa mga “laglag-bala” boys
  • na kung sa kahihiyan ay naghara-kiri na ang mga Hapon, dito ay nagpi-priviledged speech pa
  • ay kung saan ang mga bibo ay yung mga reklamador; maprinsipyo, matapang, at makabayan naman ang mga nangungudeta at nagtatangka ng destabilisasyon
  • na kung saan madalas ibansag ng ibang lahi ang salitang katulong o di kaya’y mga gold-digger na daig pa ang linta kung makakapit sa mga banyagang may limpak-limpak na salapi
  • ay kung saan ko nabasa na dapat na daw palitan ang Pilipinas ng “Alipinas” o di kaya ay “Pilapinas”
  • ay kailangan mag-ingat lalo na ang pagpunta sa katimugang bahagi ng bansa dahil sa banta ng Abu Sayyaf
  • ay kung saan ang mga rebelde ay aktibo sa walang habas na pagpaslang sa mga sundalo’t pulis kung kelan umiiral ang ceasefire
  • ay kulang nalang sabihan ng iba na manghihimod ng pwet ng mga puti upang makalimos lang ng proteksyon sakaling magkaroon ng digmaan
  • kung saan di bale nang mamatay ang mga alagad ng batas. total, parte naman daw yun ng kanilang tungkulin, wag lang yung mga nanggagahasa ng sanggol at yung mga gumagawa ng mga karumal-dumal na krimen dahil sa droga. Dahil may karapatan din sila
  • ay kung saan sapat ang dahilan sa sarili na hikahos sila at api upang humilata nalang at magreklamo habang naghihintay ng tulong ng gobyerno.

Masakit ba? Nakakainis pakinggan di ba?

Oo masakit pakinggan, masakit sa dibdib. Lalo na kung manggagaling pa sa ibang lahi. Para kang nanalamin at naisubsob sa iyong pagmumukha ang katotohanan. Para kang nadapa na imbes tulungan ay inaapakan pa ang ulo mo para mahalikan ang putikan.

In Denial

And when you do hear that I’m still in love with you, it’s not me. It’s the tequila, the Red Horse Beer, any spirit or anything under the sun for that matter. But whoever or whatever it is, it’s not me.

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From fanpop.com

Who me? Still in love with you?! Oh come on honey you know better than that! I loved you back then but that was before. It was over the moment you told me that we’re done.

And no, I’m not missing you.

You were a princess with a smiling face and a katana on hand who carved a big ugly scar in my heart. You left it dilapidated but that’s ok, I can live with that.

Please don’t assume you’re seeing tears. If you see my bloodshot eyes, it’s because I haven’t had enough sleep last night because I watched hell lot of movies that I missed when we’re together. Or, I’ve been out with the guys on a party I chose to turn down because I chose you. No I’m not blaming you for that decision I made. It’s me and I made that choice.

And don’t ever expect to see tears in my eyes if it’s raining hard ok? You’ll more likely see cats and dogs, even in the drizzle. But tears? No way sir.

And when you do hear that I’m still in love with you, it’s not me. It’s the tequila, the Red Horse Beer, any spirit or anything under the sun for that matter. But whoever or whatever it is, it’s not me.

By the way, this song’s for you so that you’ll know. I hope it’s now clear baby. No I’m not the one who said I love you just now. It’s that damn spirit ok?!

Harnessing Envy To Your Advantage

Will I succeed in all of them? Maybe. Maybe not. What matters is I’m enjoying the growls, the shitty manuscripts and the sound of my voice. And just as I said, I don’t just want to be a follower of the awesome, I want to be awesome too.

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“Don’t make me envy. You do not like me when I’m envy.” Yeah, and you messed with the grammar as well, Hulk!

What are the things that turn you green with envy?

For me, it’s being able to growl, to write a novel of Tom Clancy’s calibre, and a rock music album. But these are not the only things that I envy. The long list goes on and each of them screams in my face and tells me that if I have none of these, I should be miserable.

I don’t want to be just a follower of the awesome. I want to be awesome too. But I found out that accompanying my dream to be awesome with envy will make it a toxic mix which is emotionally draining and mentally exhausting guaranteed to zap your energy.

But lately I’ve been thinking: instead of being enslaved to envy, why not use that envy to my advantage? Yes, we can harness that negative energy by converting it to something affirmative and productive.

Here’s how:

First Step of 3: Never Resent People for What They Have that You Don’t

Before we can harness envy, first is we need to rip off that resentment towards the person who has in his hands what we’ve been drooling over for quite some time. That someone may have earned it (like a promotion). Perhaps he worked hard for years and he took upon himself the rigid discipline required to do the dirty work and grab his dreams by the balls when it came. Bottom line is, that person probably deserves it.

And next, get rid of that “I’m a victim” mentality. If you are reading this right now, you might as well have some glimpse of the reality that whatever you are aspiring, you’ve got to wake up on your daydreaming and do the hard work required. Enough blaming your parents or circumstances or whatnot. Thing is, if you want it, you can get it. But you’ll have to work hard for it.

Second Step of 3: The Concept of Play and Trial and Error

That feeling of you being miserable just because you don’t have that thing that the other fellow does, has to go to the garbage bin and cultivate instead a childlike attitude such as this:

“What he’s doing is amazing! I can’t do that as efficiently as how he does it yet, but I want to be able to do it effortlessly. I want that skill in my arsenal. What is there to lose if I try?”

As a child, we saw things in the perspective of play. This doesn’t work? Try again. Nothing happened? Improvise. Still a no? Try something else. No frustrations, no rage, just pure fun of discovery. Not everything we lay our hands on is guaranteed to prosper. What will work? Let’s keep discovering but let’s not keep out the fun.

Second Step of 3: Do it and Have Fun Discovering

Instead of seething, sulking and letting envy get the best of us, why not use the energy to actually try and do what we want to do and see if it prospers or whether we really want it at all?

After all, it’s not a necessity (be honest). It’s just your hurt and bloated ego telling you you’re not enough because you don’t have it. Cavemen never thought of upgrading the iSpear5 to iSpear6 while running from a sabre-toothed feline. They can and they did live without it.

So you want it badly? Work hard for it.

So how do I actually use this envy to work for me? Let me share something more personal on what I’m up to lately.

I envy the growling prowess of Jamir Garcia of a local metal band Slapshock. I am a frustrated-and-still-hoping-to-be heavy metal frontman who wish he can growl. And so I graduated from just a listener to wanting to learn to growl. And because I envy Jamir Garcia so much, I started downloading videos on how to growl. Well, turns out I do love growling. When I’m on my way home at night and there’s no one around earshot, I’d growwwwwwlllll! It’s a lot of fun I tell you. I’m nowhere near Jamir’s skills but I’m working on it. My vocal chords are very very much at home with the bestial growl.

I envy Tom Clancy’s skills in writing my favorite genre. Whenever I finish one of his books, I would get my pen and paper and try desperately to write a novel with the plot as grand as his’ (of course it’s a long shot which always end up short.) After getting tired of envying him, I tried to write my own version entitled Ang Huling Bukang Liwayway which is a story about a local sniper fighting in the fronts to ward off ISIS from overrunning the whole country. Yup, it got 1 like so far which I fully believe she didn’t read XD Despite that, I discovered things I should be working on if I really wanted to pursue writing a novel like having a more convincing plot, and reading some more, among others.

And since I envy international rockstars, I wanted my voice heard and my songs played all over the world. And due to persistent public demand (public meant me and a blogger friend Aysabaw) I decided to record my songs. I managed to record and release a few (contact your local music store. Just kidding.) and I’m finally getting used to the sound of my Eddie Vedder voice. Ok, I also envy Vedder’s raspy baritone and as such my first ever recording is The Last Kiss by Pearl Jam. How I wish I could record it in a formal recording studio. That sounds impossible but who knows?

Will I succeed in all of them? Maybe. Maybe not. What matters is I’m enjoying the growls, the shitty manuscripts and the sound of my voice. And just as I said, I don’t just want to be a follower of the awesome, I want to be awesome too.

So get envy to work for you. How? Let’s wrap this all up:
1. Never resent the awesome dude.
2. Remind yourself that this is an awesome process of discovery, this search for the things you may become awesome at, and finally
3. Go and do that awesome stuff you want to do with passion and focus. If it clicks, then good for you, you’ve expanded your comfort zone. If not, then it’s time to keep playing and discovering.

And remember: Let’s keep discovering but let’s not keep out the fun.

 

Photo from fanpop.com

Someday You’ll Make A Great Mom…

“I deeply regret it my son;
But you will never be that man…”

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“I deeply regret it my son;
But you will never be that man…”

Someday you’ll make a great mom –
With your wit and practical sense
A natural born mother who’ll hush her child
When the world is too loud,
They will hear your silent songs
And be lulled in peace and love
As much as when I felt defeated already
You would point to another side of reality
And what seemed to be a glaring check mate
Would be my most triumphant escape.

Someday you’ll make a great mom –
For you are passionate, yet has a love so tender
I know our children will be filled
With your hugs and kisses so sweet.
Such as when you looked at me like I am all there is
And the way you got jealous of my acquaintances
The way you said you’d give your all without any hesitation
For the love of your life which God has given.

Someday you’ll make a great mom –
With your lovely sense of humor
You would make the kids’ heart light,
When things are gloomy your wits will burn bright,
That will drive away the blackest of the night
As such is the way you instill in my face a genuine smile
Reversing it from all the gloom and wry…

Someday you’ll make a great mom –
Yes it turned out true
As I look at you along with your daughter and son.
How you did it I will never know;
But this I believe much so:
That you had been and still is a great mom
And a loving wife beside the most blessed man
That even as I pleaded with the heavens for you beforehand
Which He heard and the Lord He did respond:
“I deeply regret it my son;
But you can never be that man…”

Lost For Words 2

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my mind has gone here and there
gone loony, topsy-turvy everywhere
oh if only I can express it to ease my torment
but the words left me at the perfectly worst moment

my heart got confused: should it beat fast or pound in slow-mo?
I don’t really have a choice, it will still beat for you

must it wander, my sight or should I shut it really tight?
it doesn’t really matter, either way it will still be you that I’ll see

should I lie flat and sleep or should I walk halfway around the world and leave?
it’s pointless ’cause you’d be in my dreams anyway, and you’re like the air where there’s no escaping free

should my mouth be kept shut? I cant. I’d bloat, burst, and die!
but words never reach my lips when I open them, it’d just get high and dry

what could be much worse than going through Dante’s hell?
it’s when I can do nothing but stare!
but I can’t, I really can’t just stare
with someone so lovely and wonderful as you
I just can’t let you go away
I’ve got to let you know and hear
even if it means ripping myself apart
to make audible the silent words from my heart

 

 

photo from aitoda.blogspot.com

Salmo Dos Sientos Quatro: Ang Salmo ng Taong Matigas ang Ulo

1Di ko mapagtanto ang kalooban Mo,
Kung kaya ipinagpipilitan ko ang mga nais ko,
2Na sa pakiwari ko saki’y makakabuti,
Dahil ang pagsunod Sayo’y puro lamang hinagpis at dalamhati.

3Alam kong pagsusumikap ko’y walang kapararakan,
Na iayon ang Iyong kalooban sa ‘king mga kagustuhan,
4Pagkat ilang beses mo na sa’king pinatunayan,
Na ika’y Dios na makapangyarihan at ako’y hamak na hinulma lamang sa putikan.

5Subalit ako’y naghahanap parin ng mga kasagutan,
Upang mabuhay ng tahimik na naaayon sa ating kalooban,
6Dahil sa aking paniwalang kabutihan ko at ng mga mahal ko’y ako ang nakakaalam,
Na imbes na iyong baguhin ay hiling kong Iyong basbasan.

7Ngayon ako’y tiklop-tuhod na humihingi Sayo ng kapatawaran,
Sa aking mga naturang mapagmalabis, at kawalang kaalaman
8Iyong kabutihan, pag-ibig, at habag kami’y tangan-tangan,
Na siyang aming panghahawakan sa kinabukasan.