FUCK THE SOULMATE MENTALITY!

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Photo from ebay.co.uk

Love is like a heart-shaped jigsaw puzzle made up of two pieces. And due to the novelty of our experiences, each puzzle piece have intricate, unique patterns that can fit perfectly to only one piece.

But what people fail to realize is that  it’s not just a trial and error fitting spree. It involves the painful process of refining the edges, cutting an edge to accommodate the other piece, and extending some parts to fill the gaps of the other.

The interesting thing is, this gap that we’re trying to fill in order to piece together this puzzle, is dynamic. Such that, the patterns change in our lifetime and thus the process of cutting, welding, and grinding are perennial processes necessary to keep the love puzzle in perfect fit.

Moral of the story? FUCK THE SOULMATE MENTALITY!

Praise Aleluya!

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“Jeez! What’s that word again?!” Photo from dreastime.com

A man is receiving instructions on how to navigate with his peculiar newly-bought horse.

“When you want it to move, say ‘Praise Aleluya!’ And to stop, say ‘Aamen’ got that?”

“Roger that,” said the man and shouted “praise aleluya” and got his horse galloping in no time.

“Aamen, Aamen,” the man said testing the “breaks” pulling the horse to a complete stop.

“Cool!” he muttered to himself.

And so the man, to his joy, traversed through the meadows with his horse lost in his thoughts about his good fortune, when he realized that he’s heading right straight to a 200-foot cliff.

Panic-stricken, the man desperately tried to remember the word for stop when suddenly he managed to shout “Aamen!” just in time for the horse to stop in it’s next step into the jagged rocks below.

“Whew!” cried the man in relief while holding high his right fist. “I know I count on You.

And I can never thank you enough Lord. PRAISE ALELUYA!!!”

Classified Ads

…Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves…

Seen in an entry in the classified ads section of a local broad sheet:

Looking for work? Be jobless no more!

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  • Abu Sayyaf Group Inc. (Terrorism at Its Best!)
  • BIFF Holdings Inc. (Atrocity? Terrorism? ♪We Got Them All for You♫)
  • CPP-NPA-NDF and Partners (Guaranteed to Make War When There’s Peace)
  • MNLF Banking Corp. (Financing Your Way to Worldwide Terror)
  • MILF Inc. (The Maker of Quality Bombs)

A Proud Member of the ISIS International, Jemaah Islamiyah Global, and Al Qaeda World and funded by first world countries.

Benefits Include:

  1. Lifetime permanent employment status (♪you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave)
  2. Embedded wellness package: Lifetime hike in the woods
  3. Good compensation with monthly supply of ammos
  4. Instant worldwide fame: in the terrorist galleries of the Interpol, FBI, and NBI
  5. Gives worth to its employees with bounties reaching up to millions of dollars depending on the number of years’ experience
  6. Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves

Other benefits:

  • Physical training by world class trainers fresh from Syria, Malaysia, and Indonesia
  • Free course in Extremism 1 to Extremism 5
  • Free technical/vocational course in bomb making. No laboratory fees!

For inquiries, contact the following:

Isnilon “Toto, Toni” Totoni Hapilon or the Maute Big Brothers

Address: Sometimes Here St., Brgy. Sometimes There, Oftentimes Nowhere Province, Mindanao, Philippines

And/or

JOMA “Gwaping” SISON

Address: The Netherlands

Mistaken Identity 3

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“I’d like you to meet my uncle Paquin. Paquin Sheet.”

photo from shutterstock.com

Malikmata 4

Kung sa akala mo pinapapunta ka na sa Vegas…

(Just when you thought you were asked to go to Vegas…)

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Ang Mga Pinakamakabuluhang Mga Katanungan sa Mundong Ibabaw

1.Mag-utol ba si Sushmita at Tito Sen?

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  1. Mag-utol ba si Sushmita at Tito Sen?
  2. Bakit naaalibadbaran ang mga arkitekto sa poste?
  3. …malaki ang galit nila sa mga shear wall at core walls?
  4. …inis sa bigang malalim?
  5. …kung maaari e palutangin nila sa hangin ang kisame at bubong para wala nalang poste at shear walls?
  6. …parang ganun nalang kadaling magbutas sa mga walls na parang magbubura lang ng line element sa Autocad, kung ang katumbas nito sa isang inhinyerong gaya ko ay mga araw at gabing babaliktarin ang utak para lang paganahin yung naiwan na pader?
  7. Bakit nakakapiyok kantahin ang Touch By Touch lalo na sa bandang “…♫do it we’ll still do it(! sabay piyok)♫ night and day♪”…?
  8. Bakit ang mga MEP ay walang pakundangan sa pagbutas kung saan-saan kaya nagkakalasug-lasog ang mga sementadong sahig?

Itutuloy…

(Ang gif sa taas ay mula sa 3dstereo.com)

Malikmata 3

sometimes you have to look twice

to be sure it’s not the enemy in disguise

for just when you thought you have the dearest pal

it’s someone else masked in a smile et al…

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Facebook Doesn’t Pray For Us

Prayer should be done in a private room, inside a quiet mind or at church. Don’t pray in Facebook, you’re praying to a Higher Authority and not to your Facebook
friends. – Angmamangenhinyero

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