Seen in an entry in the classified ads section of a local broad sheet:
Looking for work? Be jobless no more!
Come and Join Any of the MAUTE GROUP OF COMPANIES:
- Abu Sayyaf Group Inc. (Terrorism at Its Best!)
- BIFF Holdings Inc. (Atrocity? Terrorism? ♪We Got Them All for You♫)
- CPP-NPA-NDF and Partners (Guaranteed to Make War When There’s Peace)
- MNLF Banking Corp. (Financing Your Way to Worldwide Terror)
- MILF Inc. (The Maker of Quality Bombs)
A Proud Member of the ISIS International, Jemaah Islamiyah Global, and Al Qaeda World and funded by first world countries.
- Lifetime permanent employment status (♪you can check out anytime you like ♫ but you can never leave♫)
- Embedded wellness package: Lifetime hike in the woods
- Good compensation with monthly supply of ammos
- Instant worldwide fame: in the terrorist galleries of the Interpol, FBI, and NBI
- Gives worth to its employees with bounties reaching up to millions of dollars depending on the number of years’ experience
- Ideal for adrenaline junkies who’s too bored to live a peaceful and meaningful life and too lazy to kill themselves
- Physical training by world class trainers fresh from Syria, Malaysia, and Indonesia
- Free course in Extremism 1 to Extremism 5
- Free technical/vocational course in bomb making. No laboratory fees!
For inquiries, contact the following:
Isnilon “Toto, Toni” Totoni Hapilon or the Maute Big Brothers
Address: Sometimes Here St., Brgy. Sometimes There, Oftentimes Nowhere Province, Mindanao, Philippines
JOMA “Gwaping” SISON
Address: The Netherlands