The Neutral Estate

happiness is a neutral estate


Howdy guys こんにちは!

I’ve been sitting on this thought for quite sometime: a lovely lady once accused me of being unhappy despite my “success”. I don’t take it against her now because I realized that first and foremost, happiness is a pretty relative concept in that me being cerebral (I’m in my head most of the time) and she being an extrovert, we have a relatively high degree of disparity on what it means to be happy.

And speaking of success, I think she meant my love and passion for my work because I’d give her a resounding correct despite that I don’t have a staggering amount of cold cash in my money arsenal. (Hello, much love goes to you ma lovely lady, hope all is well :-))

But her thoughts really got me thinking though: what does it really take to be happy?

Do I need to have tons of friends who want my company every Friday night so that I’ll qualify as happy? Do I need to be omnipresent in social media and have all my posts liked or so?

Do I have to be in a constant mood of revelry? Do I have to be laughing all the time just to be labeled “happy”? Do I need to show my teeth and gums so as not to be stereotyped as unhappy?

The world has defined toxic and intoxicating labels of happiness such as making the best noise as much as possible. A lot however doesn’t understand that such label of happiness is most guaranteed to kill the REAL happiness that we’re capable of achieving.

I was swayed also with this type of definition. I kept trying to find happiness outside of myself until I lost most of myself to that faulty definition. Yes, I know from personal experience what it takes to chase the wind, to chase the vanity of the white noise.

I kept ignoring my definition of happiness which is more credible for myself and more important than what this noisy world can tell me. Good thing is, while you’re still alive, life will never tire to ask us this primeval question of life: What is MY definition of being happy?

And from what I’ve learned:

  • happiness is a neutral estate
  • you don’t need to be constantly surrounded with lots of people who you think you need to validate that you are indeed happy.
  • happiness is being in touch with your inner self in silence.
  • happiness is loving that silence and not abhorring nor being ashamed of it because it is the only medium to finding and mastering the self.
  • happiness is being able to observe and evaluate your own self at a safe distance.
  • happiness is being able to understand the things that are innate of you, to understand the things that make people different and using that knowledge to love them more by knowing where they stand.
  • happiness is being at peace with your own self for who you are, what you have and what you can do to make this one chance of a lifetime wonderful for you and for the people around you.
  • happiness is living without the need for outside validation because you are a complete package, you just need to unwrap yourself to see your whole worth.

This doesn’t always involve laughter, being merry, or that tricky thought of needing to be constantly elated.

Ultimately, the base form is in just being. As what Jim Paredes in one of his books said (sic): life is like a blank screen. We can project in it fear, exhilaration, laughter or sadness. But if we’re lucky to realize it, life is just a blank screen where you don’t need to be anything else because constantly projecting something into it will drain life out of you.

Happiness is going back to that blank screen, the darkness, the silence and meeting our most special friend who constantly longs for our presence – and that friend is none other than our very own selves.

Author: The Romantic Alpha

Aside from physical and intellectual strength, a man is also given a heart to feel and share love and value. Dive into the mind of the alpha, feel his heart beat, and let me carry you with my strong yet gentle hands. I'm continuously innovating myself to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and structural engineer. Love's not overrated. The world needs the true essence of which.

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