How To Politely Tell Your Neighbor to Fuck Off Without Telling it To His Face

“Hey Captain, how about adding the ‘F’ word to make it more emphatic?” Photo from


It is a question by the way and I’m not here to answer my own inquiry.

I’m here to ask a rhetorical question (although I’m hoping that some random illumination in the cosmo would enlighten my barbaric mind at the moment) on how to gently but firmly tell those damn people to fuck off and go to the public market in order to buy and consume tons upon tons of sensitivity and proper manners.

First, and this should be simple enough, it is freaking wrong to steal our papayas in the backyard. Some pesky neighbors outside the subdivision have been eyeing our three fruitful papaya tress in our backyard and some did actualize their jealousies by reaching through the fence and plucking the darn fruits from the tree in the dead of the night/early morning. Too bad my dog weren’t able to snatch a hand or a finger from the thieves while the assholes are at it.

What enrages me most is not the stolen papayas but the guts they accumulated to actually reach for something that’s within my backyard and their persistent efforts to pester their neighbors every day.

Our safety has been compromised. I am not normally on a ballistic mode but thinking that we’re no longer safe makes me want to legally own a handgun to protect myself and my family. If you’re a father like myself, between the assholes and the safety of your love ones, there really is no choosing in between. Believe me. A father’s gotta do what a father’s gotta do when the safety of the ones they love are at stake.

They could’ve asked if they want some papayas and I would’ve given them any of the fruits I’ve grown in my backyard. Problem is, they can’t muster enough balls to ask and so they resorted to stealing.

Just ask. I wish they’d realize that it’s not fucking hard to ask. Just fucking ask and stay the fuck off my turf.

Second in point is a neighbor who can’t live without gossiping about what other people are up to. He’s an officer of the home owners association and so he has access to our personal records based on the forms we filled up. We often see him talking to our fellow neighbors about lots of things, even personal stuff that he should know better than to disclose to anyone he meets in order to build rapport with everyone at our expense.

We, along with my wife aren’t used to a setting where I get to drink with my fellow dads in the neighborhood up to the wee hours in the morning nor do my wife gather with the ladies along the side of the road every afternoon to extract lice from each other’s heads while feeding on gossip. So imagine my rage and my surprise when someone would tell me “Hey, I heard you weren’t able to pay your phone bills…“ or “So I heard you were paying this amount for your monthly amortization…”

Who told them? It’d be him no more no less. If it ain’t that #%&*!!!

Those are private stuff and it doesn’t give him any right to disclose what we talked about to everyone.

The most important thing for me is again, security. If one stupid fellow with a motive as black as his ass will hear about my logistics, then he can use it against me, right? Simple as that. Divulging a lot of information about your lifestyle and statistics is the same as carrying a huge placard with the written words “Come take a chance on me. Come take everything I’ve got!!!” while walking in the midst of a crowd.

I believe there are more manly things to do other than going around telling other people what you know about the other.

I don’t want to waste my time discussing about other people’s whereabouts or whatnots. I am a busy man making both ends meet and I do not want intruding into other people’s lives because I myself don’t want my privacy intruded.

And finally, some fellows still fail to understand that it’s very fucking wrong to just open my fucking gate and door as they please.

Due to the incidence of theft, we decided to build a fence at the back, high enough to blind passers-by of what’s inside and to keep them out. And so despite our lack of budget to pay for the whole project at once, we obliged to have the wall up in no time just so we can secure ourselves and our valuables. Even if it means walking the tightrope of budgeting the very limited amount left for our daily meals for the next how many days.

Again, I don’t understand why the fuck did they interpret that they can come and go as they please and invite like-minded insensitive people inside our small space without first consulting us.

You don’t need to have a doctorate degree in order to learn to respect your neighbors by knocking first before entering their premises. And I don’t fuckin’ know why it’s very difficult for them to inform us that they’re coming in before they latch the gates open!

Adding to my agitation and rage is suddenly, everyone they knew who’s not related to the work being done inside just comes in without asking permission. They just stare at you like they’re stepping on public property.

And so pending our efforts to confront our “good” neighbors, we padlocked the gates to send a strong message that our small space is a private property and that not everyone is welcome inside and that they need to ask permission first before they are granted to enter.

And again, I don’t know why it’s so difficult for them to understand that it’s not right to trespass the property of another or why they don’t have qualms entering other’s ground without regard to the owners. I am wondering because I cannot even help myself get through their gates and their vicious dogs, open their front door without knocking and stick my fucking head inside.

I may be crude and barbaric in some ways but I’m particularly sensitive to the ways my neighbors are stepping on the line and transgressing my fucking right to privacy.

So how do I fucking tell them?!

I don’t know how am I going to confront them because first, I don’t know how to tell them that it’s very rude and not at all proper to treat their neighbor’s grounds like extensions of their homes because all I thought is that this should be the automatic response of a well-mannered, civilized individual. The fact that they’re continuously doing it means that it never crossed their minds that what they’re doing is not at all right. Rather, they continue crossing the line, and they’re now way too close to my face and they need to back off.

Not everyone is intelligent and mature enough to admit that they already crossed the boundary and that they need to back off and apologize. Most the time, people are blind to reason and they’re adamant to accept suggestions that would’ve aided to assessing and solving the prompting situations objectively.

Second is I don’t want them to totally lose their concern especially when one needs it the most.

If I tell them, they’d get “hurt“ and perpetually resent me for being brutally honest by telling them that they crossed the boundary and that they must back off, if not to completely fuck off. If I don’t tell them, our misery and the cycle of abuse will keep on coming in circles.

So how do you deal with people like that?


Author: The Romantic Alpha

Aside from physical and intellectual strength, a man is also given a heart to feel and share love and value. Dive into the mind of the alpha, feel his heart beat, and let me carry you with my strong yet gentle hands. I'm continuously innovating myself to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and structural engineer. Love's not overrated. The world needs the true essence of which.

24 thoughts on “How To Politely Tell Your Neighbor to Fuck Off Without Telling it To His Face”

  1. ha ha ha ha natawa ako sa nagnakaw ng papaya…pero may mga ganyang tao talaga…

    at re:tsismoso, lalo na yung officer ng home owner’s association, bad trip talaga yan. hulihin mo sa akto para makapaghabla ka na nagdidisclose sya ng info.

    Yung sa mga trespassers naman, we found out na dapat mukhang hunted house and bahay mo para di na sila magtangka pang pumasok. kaya napakaraming warat na lona ng mga bintana namin at may isa kaming weird na punong nakakatacute

    Liked by 1 person

    1. maswerte sila brad di sila abot nung aso. kaya need na talaga ng baril para kahit papano tabla ang laban, God forbids lang sana na umabot sa ganung punto…

      nakakainis lang kasi gaya nga noon malalaman ko pa sa iba na “uy di ka pala nakabayad ng bills mo” “uy sa Makati ka pala” “uy engineer ka pala” e tang-ina wala naman akong ibang kinakausap sa amin. e syempre nasasabi ko yung iba sa kanya pero dapat di niya pinagsasasabi. ewan ko ba brad sobrang intrusive…

      naku brad papalakihin ko muna mga anak ko bago ko magawang haunted yan. although I doubt na papayag ang asawa ko kapag mukhang di bahay yung bahay. kung pwede nga lang magpakawala ako ng mga cobra na walang kamandag sa gabi para matakot lang mga gagong yun…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. well, napakarami talagang intruders…ganun talaga pag interesting ang buhay, lagi napag-uusapan….tsaka diba sabi nila, kung sino daw lagi ang wala-un ang inuulam….di ka kasi nakikisali kaya ikaw ang trip nilang ulamin…pero keber…kahit nakakapikon talaga minsan

        ha ha ha for sure hindi papayag asawa mo na magmukhang haunted house bahay nyo…kami kasi nasanay na lang ha ha ha…BTW, yung gate namin may ground sa gabi….

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I suggest that you tell them politely so that they will know their mistakes and learn from it. Their reactions will be based on what kind of persons they are. lols. They might understand it with open minds or get offended, but good neighbors are always willing to change for the better. If they will take it negatively then the problem is with them. 🙂

    BTW, I can relate to this. Everyone has that tsismosong neybor. I just read a post saying ‘if a man gossips, he’s not a man, he is bitch.’ lols And what I hate the most is exaggerating the whole story. My family was once the talk of the town and the feeling was being naked in front of the crowd and maybe that’s the reason why I keep things to myself and only to trusted ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sana nga ganun sila ka-mature para di ma-offend. pero ang hirap kasi kapag yung kausap mo e alam mong closed minded tapos, hindi naman sa pag-aano pero yung mga wala talagang urbanidad tingin ko di mo na sila mababago, ikaw talaga ang maga-adjust. tapos kapag naapakan mo yung ego kahit sa totoo lang e kelangan nila magbago e walang ibang alam na gawin kundi maging bayolente sayo, parang ang ganti lang palagi e may isang masasaktan parang ganun…

      ‘if a man gossips, he’s not a man, he is bitch.’ natawa ako dito. bitch pala sya, nyahahahaha ewan ko ba kung nababagot sya sa buhay nya o talagang ugali nya lang yung ganun. sakin kasi nakakahiya ang putak ng putak, kaya mas lalong ayoko makipagusap e hahahaha


    1. haha oo Meg sinabi mo pa. e wala e parehas kong may pagka barbaric mga tao sa amin 😄

      uu marami noon papaya pero ngayon konti nalang nagtampo na kasi ninanakawan hahahaha

      meron din kami ibang mga puno (maliliit pa nga lang) manga, karamay, abokado, aratiles bukod sa malunggay, mangilan ngilan na okra, ampalaya, talong, tanglad, white flower hahahaha


  3. Woah! is this post intended to make me smile? HAHA Sorry, at the beginning of this post I find myself smiling because of this papayas. Apparently in the middle I can feel your rage over of your f*cking neighbors who doesn’t have any guts to say atleast “padawat man manong ti papaya yo, imbag laeng nga pang-tinola mi” How difficult is that? I don’t think they would really bother to ask because their primary intention talaga is to steal that poor papaya e. But to the extent that they will make hard effort to climb your fence is a different thing. That’s more of stealing, it’s more of invading your privacy.

    I got you and I share the same sentiments with these rampant chismosas in our neighborhood back in the Philippines. Too bad because we can’t control them but the very best is to avoid them. As in completely dissolve slla.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, it’s ok Lenny. I may be trying to make the reader laugh so as to balance the heavy content, haha I tried to inject some humor but after rereading it I just found out that my presentation was all over. I wish I would’ve made it better but you know, some things just have to go, it’s pass your paper finished or not finished…

      Exactly, how hard can it be to just ask instead of stealing from their neighbors? And besides, it’s very easy to plant their own papayas in their backyards. Sinal-it laketdi dagita nga sasadut!

      I don’t know what benefits them from gossiping about other people. Ngem nu dadduma maasyan nak ta kasla didiay lang nga nagpatinggan ti pakadanunan ti panpanunut dan.

      Liked by 1 person

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