Why is it that sometimes, people end up hearing what we’re not saying?
Sometimes it’s just too tiring to think about both spectra of what we want to say and what other people might end up hearing. I thought about this yesterday when I was in a meeting with my design manager and others. We’re talking about the project I’m currently handling.
I’m having a hard time making the current lateral system work. The only link beams we’re allowed to have are stretched well beyond their limits and the walls are on the verge of exceeding the maximum allowable reinforcement ratio. I don’t know, I just think something’s off with the framing. The base shears for the seismic and wind loads make sense and so are the reactions. I don’t know what’s wrong if there really is something wrong, or if there is I wish someone would point it out so that I can rectify it immediately. I don’t want to submit anything that doesn’t merit my confidence going out but sadly, that is what I ended up doing the other night because ’twas time’s up and it needs to go.
And yet my design manager told me that there are enough walls and that it should not struggle the way it does as of the moment. I was puzzled. And having heard that from him, I was curious to find out what I may not be doing right or what I may not be doing at all. And so I asked him, “How do you say that it should work? Is it like a gut feel or something? I just want to know because the calculations are giving me quite the opposite.” I was really pissed at the results and the imminent deadline of submission.
It’s just then that I realized and thought about the possibility of him taking it the negative way like I was questioning his capabilities. Of course that’s not my point. It was an honest question and it was not intended to appear like I was digging his competence.
Or maybe it’s just MY take on the situation not his’. Thankfully he wasn’t offended. What I like about the people in the office is that they’re mature enough not to take a question such as that in a negative way. But it pays to be careful always especially when we’re treading on foreign grounds.
The world would’ve been a more peaceful place however if we would only listen to what other people are really saying instead of reacting to what we THINK they’re saying…