The Obstinate Hard Worker who Believes in the Divine TAE Method

But there will be times when life throws shit at us instead of apples or lemons and we can’t make a shit cookbook out of it!

“Actually, most people are. And oh, don’t forget the horns!” Photo from


I am obstinate when it comes to pursuing my dreams and the things that I want to achieve.

I don’t give a fuck if it’s an uphill ordeal. I don’t fucking care if I emerge bloody, sweaty and dirty in the end as long as I am holding my prize. And I don’t give a fuck to what others say. I know what I want and I know how to get it.

Even if it means hard work.

I am not afraid of hard work. Hard work is good. It’s what makes a beer taste better at the end of the day, a certain guest in a podcast said. And I believe that it is one essential trait for us men. And I am also a firm believer that the man who evades hard work is not man enough.



But there will be times when life throws shit at us instead of apples or lemons and we can’t make a shit cookbook out of it!

Both tenacity and hard work will have to halt for a moment so that we can assess what type of shit got in our way to our dreams, holding a placard of “detour” in front of us.

And in that case we realize that where we’re going is different from what we originally visualized before that shit appeared on our way. Are we going to bend our dreams to the new reality or are we going to start over and pursue our original goals instead?

Am I going to allow my obstinacy to tell me to stick to it even if it means starting over or am I going to roll with it and see where the new reality takes me?

One of the best metaphors that I heard regarding this stuff is this:

A famous sculptor wants to carve out of solid rock a strong and sturdy standing statue of an American soldier. He was working his final touches on one of its legs when it broke, leaving his statue with a single leg. His original plan is screwed. He has two choices: one is to trash the current statue and start anew or he will rebrand his statue to an Iraq war veteran American GI who lost his leg while performing his duties…

Before landing a job in structural design for almost 4 years now, I worked in other civil engineering jobs that I am not really passionate about. I worked and liaised with contractors, subcontractors, construction workers, owners, officemates, beautiful and voluptuous suppliers – all just to cruise and support myself and my family. I need a job because I need to feed myself and the people who looks up to me.

There even came a time when I told myself (well, I lied to myself then) that I don’t want structural design anymore and that I am going to grow a different me like leading a project, handling meetings with owners, getting good at public relations and all that stuff. Maybe this is life telling me to take a detour. The leg is already broken and so I will have to work on an Iraq war vet, instead of a strong soldier standing proudly on his two legs.

But denying myself of the career I ever since wanted hurt so badly. I loathed majority of my time not doing the job that I want and I always long for weekends and holidays. I never got good eventually at public relations and not even to the beautiful and voluptuous suppliers.

Had I not persisted to achieve my first dream, I would’ve ended somewhere I really don’t want doing. Of course it came with a hard work. I had been a persistent suitor and in due time the profession that I love gave herself in. And she keeps on giving in to me up to this point in time.

Maybe I just got lucky on that one. Or maybe it’s fate and that this job was really meant for me. And this is just but one area of my life and there are other choices to make. So how about the other areas? Shall I improvise and sculpt an Iraq war vet or should I just get another rock? How ‘bout you?

Honestly I don’t know, nobody does. But I think it’s up to the TAE method (trial and error) to tell us which is which…

“Try and try Mr. Wile E. Coyote, you’ll eventually fry that motherfucker!” Photo from

Author: The Romantic Alpha

Aside from physical and intellectual strength, a man is also given a heart to feel and share love and value. Dive into the mind of the alpha, feel his heart beat, and let me carry you with my strong yet gentle hands. I'm continuously innovating myself to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and structural engineer. Love's not overrated. The world needs the true essence of which.

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