It bugs the shit out of me.
Not that I can do anything about it. I believe in one God. And I also believe that He’s all powerful. I can fool myself that I am wearing this God’s-will-proof vest on knowing and believing that I can fight my way to avert it when in reality, I’m naked and as helpless as a new-born infant in His presence.
It’s not that I know better than He does. Aside from being all powerful, He’s also all-knowing. He knows my love, my lusts, my deep seated worries and my strengths. I may be able to hide a part of what it’s like being a man and human with all its splendour and evil to my fellow but not to Him. He sees right through my deceit, my mind and my heart.
If He wills it, it will come to pass.
But why do I make a fuss out of it? It’s because of my limiting belief that I know better than He does. And in turn I have reduced His unlimited power to something insignificantly smaller than what He can really do. I have reduced Him to a liar, someone who’s unworthy of my trust.
I have reduced Him to someone as small and insignificant as ME!
The words “Thy will be done” still freaks the hell out of me. But even without me saying it or admitting it and even if I vehemently deny that He has the choice, yes it will be done if He wills it.
But I will not cease to do the things I believe are good and true and I will never cease to pray and plead for myself and the people that I care about…