Cluttered: Your Daily Dose of Nonsense and Pigging Moments

Have you ever experienced fighting the urge to not to kiss the lips of the beautiful lady in front of you inside a public transport (or the guy if you’re a gal)?

Photo from dreamstimes.com
Photo from dreamstimes.com

Dumb me, dumb ME, DUMB ME! It’s one classic example of being dumb by not following one’s inner voice – no, not for not kissing the girl. The last thing I want is a slap in the face, or worse, a sexual harassment lawsuit! I felt I should’ve worn my shades and not my eyeglasses.

The consequence of such a terrible blunder? I was only able to “steal” a few looks at her beautiful face and irresistibly kissable lips. I would’ve etched her face forever in my mind had I been wiser at the moment. Anyway, she’s already immortalized in print (no, not that picture!)

 ****

 Q: What do you call the Filipino version of Casanova?

A: Fakero

****

I never thought I would hear Roanna Ruiz again. During the morning rush on weekdays until my favorite Saturday favorite WRXP (Weekend Rock Experience), I never failed to listen to her childlike voice, her hearty laughs and her foreign language 101.

I wish I’d hear her once more. I thought she was gone just like that, no traces whatsoever.

Photo from vandalsonthewall.com
Photo from vandalsonthewall.com

Typical Mondays, except that one Monday evening when we stayed a bit more than usual to comply to a submission. I was damn tired, hungry, haggard and sleepy as I boarded the UV Express. It’s rather unusual that the driver is listening to my favorite radio station JAM88.3. Cool! When I heard a female voice and it’s not Jada nor Lana, I listened closely to try to identify the female jock who currently controls the airwaves. I’ve had this gut feel that it is none other than Roanna but the voice is unusually softer than what I was used to hearing from her. Then the giveaway, she mentioned her twitter account: @roannaruiz.

Thank heavens Roanna Ruiz is back!

I don’t know, I felt damn happy when I heard her again, realizing that she’s still a part of JAM. I hope she will rock my Saturdays once more with her voice and good-ole-wicked rock and roll.

 ****

 Q: What is the unit of measurement of the noise made by mermaids?

A: Dyecibel

 ****

Photo from sulit.com.ph
Photo from sulit.com.ph

And speaking of UV express, I’ve been stretching my patience past its breaking strength in withholding myself from cursing the drivers who doesn’t want to pass below the Bagong Ilog flyover in C5 Road thus adding about a couple of hundred meters to my walking distance. They reason that the traffic there is heavy, the road is infested with “blue boys”, and just the stiff “no” without any attempt to explain. I remember one Monday evening (the same day I heard Roanna’s voice again) I’ve had about five rejections when I motioned that I am bound below Bagong Ilog flyover. I was not in the mood for walking a lot longer that night, so I patiently waited for the one who is willing to give me a lift to my destination. Thank heavens when one good single soul offered a lift (bless him!)

What my curse is? That they will not have a full load of passengers so that they will be obliged to fish for more passengers below! But I don’t want my curses getting back to me in any other way so, SO BE IT. After more than half a day on my ass, I know I’d benefit from a sweaty body and weary legs and feet anyway…

 ****

 Billiard legend, known as “The Magician” or Efren “Bata” Reyes wasn’t able to dominate the tables in the 9-Ball Championship just like he usually does a few years back. The reason is eminent: matanda na si Bata. (This is actually a punch line. If you didn’t get it, just leave a message below.)

He’s still a champion though, and always will be.

 ****

 For our last menu, let’s have a fun, technical pun:

Hogging moment as defined by Dictionary.com is “a bending moment that produces convex bending at the supports of a continuously supported beam” like this:

Photo from makingthemodernworld.org.uk
Photo from makingthemodernworld.org.uk

Another form of a “hog”ging moment would be like this:

Photo from lbddiaries.com
Photo from lbddiaries.com

And:

Photo from dontgoout.co.uk
Photo from dontgoout.co.uk

Who wouldn’t love the “hug”ging moment or the “Aww” type:

Photo from laurenconrad.com
Photo from laurenconrad.com

And:

Photo from healthlob.com
Photo from healthlob.com

Now if there’s a hogging moment somewhere in the beam, there is sagging moment elsewhere and it is usually located at the midspan of a continues beam. A sagging moment as Dictionary.com defines it is “a bending moment that produces concave bending at the middle of a simple supported beam”

Photo from makingthemodernworld.org.uk

I call this however, the “banana” moment”

Photo from kholistic.com
Photo from kholistic.com

Alright there you have it! For your last dose of nonsense wisdom with sense: Never ever be afraid to let loose your nonsense moments and try to forget if not to totally ignore what others might say. As long as you’re happy with it, do it. It feels good to be silly sometimes especially when nobody else can figure what you just said or did.

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Author: The Romantic Alpha

Aside from physical and intellectual strength, a man is also given a heart to feel and share love and value. Dive into the mind of the alpha, feel his heart beat, and let me carry you with my strong yet gentle hands. I'm continuously innovating myself to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and structural engineer. Love's not overrated. The world needs the true essence of which.

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