Me and my wife are on abstinence.
Ash Wednesday began last week, marking the commencement of the Lenten season. Being devout Christians, we thought it proper to oblige and abstain from meat, be it literal or figuratively.
After one day, it’s no problem. Three days, still tolerable. The fifth day, my ass is on fire.
There is this girl who constantly grabs my attention without her knowing it. I still don’t know her name. Married I supposed. She’s not beautiful enough to consider as a candidate in beauty pageants, neither eye-catching but there’s just something in her that I saw as an inner beauty that nobody else can see.
She’s plain simple, and that’s what makes her standout from the rest (at least for me). One particular day, she wore this simple albeit asset-enhancing dress with a skirt just above the knees. And when she passed me by, I can’t help but follow her in a stare while shouting “holy shit!” deep within. I felt the proverbial butterflies in my stomach and sensed myself giving off an animalistic growl which is primordial in nature.
Shit. I’m starved.
I reminded myself that I’m one with the universe, and that this is the time for meditation and supplications. It worked alright – until I saw an office newbie, petite, 4 to 5 feet tall wearing purple skirts.
That familiar feeling when that mundane and familiar woman turns to a hot chick without you noticing it.
This is definitely a sacrifice. Give up one thing momentarily and reap greater rewards later (I just wish I can hold that long.)
While I try to keep myself focused, I’m thankful for my three notable lines of defenses and hope that they will hold the line:
- I have a strong moral conviction which needs nurturing on a perpetual basis.
- I’m an introvert who will not push his luck much more ruin his future in the process. I don’t have luck with other women.
- Divine providence. Every time I feel the urge and take the steps to deviate, circumstances will ruin my momentum forcing me back online.
I know what it’s like to be obsessed. You feed it, it grows. When it grows, it gobbles you. And once it does, you’re on a vicious cycle that’s very painful and arduous to get detached from.
Have to find a book instead, fast…